This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize