I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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