how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
