Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
