Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
