am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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