Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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