your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
pray to the hookup gods
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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