I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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