she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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