Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
