Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Houston, we have a squirter
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
