If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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