i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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