you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
