Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
