who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize