So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
