I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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