But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
