got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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