she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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