which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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