areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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