are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
