Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i drank out of a bidet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
