I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize