omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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