Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
