found the other keg... it's in the tree
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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