areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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