let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
