I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
