In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
