I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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