I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
