I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
