Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate all girls vehemently.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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