I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
