woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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