ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
