I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's just like the Real World with babies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
