Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
