you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
