i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
