Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
