This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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