I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
