That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
