dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
