I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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