VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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