fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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