week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
