The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize