Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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