You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
