wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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