He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
