Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
