i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
