All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
